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The Art of Emotional Coaching



What is emotional coaching?  

According to the Achievement for all website it states, "Emotion Coaching is a communication strategy which supports young people to self regulate and manage their stress responses.  It was originally developed in the USA by a psychologist John Gottman and as an effective way to nurture mental health and wellbeing in education settings."  A parent that helps their child with emotional coaching helps their child identify what they are feeling which often times can be an underlying behavioral issue.  This assists in manage their emotions which can help them be  more self-confident. This leads to better social interactions, academic pressure and overall healthier.  

Here are five steps for emotional coaching from The Gottman Institute's website/blog:

1. Be aware of your child's emotion

2. Recognize your child's expression of emotion as a perfect moment for intimacy and teaching

3. Listen with empathy and validate your child's feelings

4. Help your child learn to label their emotions with words

5. Set limits when you are helping your child to solve problems or deal with upsetting situations appropriately. 

All feelings are ok, even anger, sadness or grief.  All feelings have a place.  Being able to have parents that teach their children though emotional coaching, allows them to understand different emotions.  When those emotions are identified, kids feel validated.  When kids feel validated, they feel understood.  When they feel understood, they can learn how to deal with that or other emotion, like anger then forgiveness. 

Parents have to set the example by leading.  Identifying your own emotions during conversation or conflict helps younger kids recognize and be able to label these emotions.  Setting the example is the first step to becoming a parent who emotional coaching their children. 


Helpful Links:


Jaywing.com. (n.d.). Home. Achievement For All. https://afaeducation.org/free-dt-resources/explore-our-resources/emotion-coaching/.

Lisitsa, E. (2020, November 3). An Introduction to Emotion Coaching. The Gottman Institute. https://www.gottman.com/blog/an-introduction-to-emotion-coaching/.

Christine Carter Christine Carter, & Carter, C. C. C. (n.d.). Emotion Coaching: One of the Most Important Parenting Practices in the History of the Universe. Greater Good. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/emotion_coaching_one_of_the_most_important_parenting_practices_in_the_histo.



Stock photo: Microsoft

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